The Spirituality Hole

I am not religious. I wasn’t religious pre-tumor awareness, I have not become religious post-tumor awareness. Many people include me in their prayers and I am truly grateful. I characterize my spiritual status as being on a spiritual quest, meaning that I am open to spiritual experiences and practices that are compatible with my values and intuition.

Every book on healing I encounter says something to the effect that you have to believe you will heal, in addition to undertaking whatever physiological measures are a part of your protocol. This belief need is where spirituality comes in. Of the protocols I have tried, most more-or-less self-devised, a key difference between my earlier intuitive approaches, which were more natural and my current chemical/medical protocol, is a consistent spiritual essence.

It occurred to me that in trusting one modality exclusively I let go of the emotional benefits of those that had preceded, even if those modalities may not have been physiologically effective.

I am torn as to whether it is a good thing that I am so open, or a deficit that I lack a resolute spiritual identity. What I know to be true, is that regardless, spirituality has to be a part of the healing process.